Remote Car Keys

Life used to be so simple.  Now it isn't.  For instance, when I was a kid, and you wanted a Coke, you went to the store and you bought a Coke. There was no Diet Coke, no Coke Zero, no Cherry Coke, no Cherry Coke Zero, etc., etc.  And Coke came in a proper glass bottle, as mandated from the beginning of the universe.

So it was with car keys.  You own a Chevy?  You get a Chevy key, and there was just one kind.

But not no more. 

  A couple months ago I took my car to the local car wash.  They ran it through, and when they had dried it they called me out with a big smile, and said good bye. Gave the guy a tip! All well and good, except when I went to start the car I realized someone had broken the plastic head off  the key, the plastic part with the remote door and trunk buttons on it. It was just dangling there.

Me: "Hey, my key is broken. You guys broke my key".

Car wash guy: "No, it was already broken"

Me: "No, you broke it. Where's the manager?"

Guy: "Who?"

Well, I finally corralled the manager and then this:

Me: "Your guys broke my key."

Him: "No they didn't."

Me: "OK then why didn't they tell me it was broken when they got in to run the car through the wash?"

Him:  "It's a bad design. They break easily."

Me:  "It's a good design, your guys broke it."

Him: "I think you can glue it."

Me: "Not interested. I want a new key."

Him:  "I can't authorize a new key."

Me: "Then I want to talk to the general manager."

Him: "Who?"

Which is what I did.  The general manager (who is clear across town), after making 'tear your hair out' sounds on the phone, said to find out how much it costs, and then we'll see.  So I went to Toyota, and that key is $200 just for the key blank and the little shell that holds the electronic gizmo that makes the door open.  Made me wish I was in the car key business.

So I sent the general manager a letter with all the information and the estimate paper, but I guess he wasn't all that excited about replacing a $200 key, because a couple weeks went by, and no word.  I called again and left a message which he didn't return. I sent another letter asking when this would be resolved, and still no answer. Finally I sent a registered letter and gave him a deadline, and--nothing.  So as a last resort I sent all my information over to the Better Business Bureau and the general manager finally sent me a check for $200.

Didn't end there.  After some looking on the internet I found an aftermarket key was available online for about fifteen bucks. Now, that's more like it! Sent for it, and took it to a locksmith to be cut. They cut it for a buck, and I walked out to the car, happy as a kid with a bag of Skittles, and pushed the unlock button. Worked fine, got in, stuck it in the ignition.  Turned in the ignition without any hesitation.  Did everything it was supposed to except: Start the motor.  Opened the doors, opened the trunk, turned in the ignition, and cranked the motor.

But no start.

So I took the damn thing apart (the key, not the motor) and discovered a tiny little compartment inside the new shell I hadn't noticed before. The space was empty, but in the old one, there was something glued in it. And if I held the old key shell next to the new key shell, the engine would start.  Had to be some sort of chip to make the car start.  So after about 20 minutes of cutting, grinding, shaving, and peeling the old key shell, I managed to dig that little demon chip out and install it in the new key shell. Worked fine--and it was so easy!! Gaaaah!

As a reward to myself for navigating this purgatory, I went to the store and bought myself a Diet Coke.